Before I Turn 30

Guess who had a birthday last month? That’s right, it was this woman. 24. I have many mixed feelings about this, and I will talk about them in a future post because it’s an aspect of chronic illness that people don’t often acknowledge. But that is not the purpose of my Just 10 Things posts. Today, in honour of my birthday and my need to have some sort of direction amidst my slowed down life, I have decided to share 10 things I would like to have done before I turn 30. Six years is plenty of time, yeah?!

Visit Korea

This is going to come a shock to followers of my blog (ha! I’m funny), but I really love kdramas and kpop. As a result, I have a growing interest in the language, culture and country of Korea. I have already started learning the language. It’s beautiful, and complicated and brain fog makes everything harder, but it’s happening. Slowly. What I would really love to do though is visit, and spend some time exploring the country and immersing myself in the culture. I have already started working towards this goal, and have incredibly tentative plans to go sometime in 2022. Finances and health permitting.

Publish my first novel

Publishing my first collection of poetry last year was a dream come true. But the oldest, longest lived dream is to publish a novel. I have a couple of projects on the go. One is resting before I tackle rewrites, the other is in the early stage of first drafting. Who knows which I’ll be able to get out first. But six years ought to be enough time, right?

Go skydiving

I’ve been indoor skydiving, but that’s not really the same thing, is it? I wanna jump out of a plane!

Weekend away with my friends

Where did those movies and TV shows get the idea that it was easy to go away for a weekend with your adult friends?? Between marriages, kids and moving interstate, I haven’t been able to go away with my closest friends for a weekend of games, food and pampering since, well, schoolies. Also known as the end of high school. This is something I would love to do before I turn 30. Even if it ends up being, “Hey! I’m turning 30. Let’s celebrate by spending a couple of days together somewhere without husbands/kids/work.” Ha.

Design my own home

Let’s be honest, actually getting to build my own home is extremely unlikely. But in the event that I do end up in the position to be able to do that, my dream is a to build a simple home that is also ecologically sustainable. So, over the next few years, I want to be studying sustainable design and architecture, and creating some basic plans for a home that fits with my needs and values.

Transition wardrobe from fast fashion to thrifted or self-made

Yeah, I really want to be more ecologically conscious in my life, and phasing out fast fashion is something I can do with relative ease. So, I’m going to start. I’ve been learning to sew, I’ve been learning more about fashion, historical dress and my personal style has been evolving. All of this is working together to make now a good time to start introducing pieces I’ve made or thrifted (op-shopped, Aussie friends) into my wardrobe. As with the home thing, I really want the clothes I wear to reflect my needs, interests and values.

Take up gardening

This again fits with the desire to have a more ecologically conscious lifestyle. Also, over the summer, I was able to use vegetables grown in my mum’s garden in my cooking and let me tell you, it felt amazing to be able track every step of the process. Fresh, home grown food for the win. This is, in some ways, one of the more challenging goals on this list. Gardening requires a certain level of energy and engagement that I may not (definitely won’t) have consistently. CFS for the win.

But I want to try.

Try pole dancing

Pole dancing fascinates me, and I really want to try it at least once in my life. I can’t imagine myself being able to pole dance regularly, because, again, CFS, and it’s a really high energy sport, but you have to try the things that intrigue you at least once, right?

Take up beekeeping

This will be dependent on a lot of factors external to myself, but I have grown to love bees and would love to keep a hive. I doubt I’ll be able to keep honeybees as long as I share a living space with my allergic mother, but the bee native to Australia is stingless. Maybe she can be talked into it? We’ll see.

Climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge

I’m pretty sure this was on my “Before Year’s End” list, but it didn’t happen. So, here’s a little bit of insight into life with CFS: it’s all about goal revision. Yeah, people talk about goal setting, but really, with CFS, there is no way of controlling whether or not you’re going to be up to achieving something. So, expectation management and goal revision is the order of the day. I’ve decided that instead of giving myself a few months to do this, I should give myself a few years. Hopefully it’ll happen.

What I'm Grateful for in 2019

I’m going to keep this short and sweet, but I wanted to share 10 things I have been grateful for this year.

1. My friends.

   I am so glad that I have been able to spend time with them, celebrating the great things that have happened and supporting each other through the difficult things.

2. My closest friend’s baby

   I won’t share any details in such a public place, but he is gorgeous and always brings a smile to my face.I love you so much, little one.

3. Picking up new hobbies

   I have particularly enjoyed by baby steps into sewing, painting and gardening. I look forward to developing them more going forward. I have also been grateful for the opportunity to continue practicing old hobbies, including cooking, baking and crocheting.

4. Nail polish

   It’s all so colourful and fun, and I love having something beautiful on me at all times. It’s a simple thing, but it’s really important to me.

5. Studio Ghibli

   I only started getting into Studio Ghibli movies this time last year, and I have fallen in love with them. They are so comforting and cosy, and I love curling up with them and a cup of tea or hot chocolate.

6. Publishing “Amidst The Ash”

   Honestly, publishing a book has been a huge step for me. And was the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. I have a long way to go on my writing journey, and it can be easy to get discouraged, but I am very grateful I was able to publish this book. I am also very grateful for all the support I have received in this endeavour.

7. Finding new authors to love

   I love, love, love books. And finding new (or new to me) authors whose work I love is so exciting to me. Plus, if there’s one thing I’m not short on, it’s time. And good books are always welcome.

8. Getting to spend time with family

   Both my sisters moved out of home this year, which has meant that spending time with them has been a special treat. We also had a number of family events happen, which were wonderful opportunities to catch up with aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. I have particular enjoyed getting to know my newest aunt as she has come to visit with my uncle a number of times this year.

9. Blogging

   As challenging as it can sometimes be to get blog posts written and published on time, I am so graetful that I have been able to get back into blogging and that I have been able to maintain a somewhat regular publishing schedule. I am looking forward to this next month off, but will also be glad to get back into it in February. I have exciting ideas I am looking forward to exploring. I am also very grateful for you, dear reader. Thank you for your support of this blog and of me.

10. The fact that I am still alive

    Yeah, probably not something most people think about much, but with two of my dearest friends’ mourning the loss of loved ones, the tragedy of the bushfires around Australia and my own chronic mental and physical health issues, I am reminded both of how precious life is, and how amazing it is to still be alive. I may not always want to be alive, but I am grateful for this gift that has been given to me. I try not to take it for granted.

And with that, I close out 2019.

See you all in 2020.

Laura Dee

An Update: Christmas, New Years and Plans for 2020

I’m going to keep this brief. Mostly, because I am fatigued.

Christmas has been hard, and as well as struggling with the fatigue, I feel defeated and discouraged. All I wanted was to enjoy a few days with my family, celebrating the birth of Jesus, eating good food and playing some games. And, whilst I did get to enjoy some time with extended family on Christmas day, I ended it slumped on the floor of my aunt’s house unable to move. It has been four days, and I am still recovering.

When I started this blog, I penciled in January and July as months off, but hoped it wouldn’t be necessary. The amount of strain my body has been under and the ways my CFS and anxiety have all been affected over the last few weeks has convinced me that I do need the time off.

So, here is the plan: I will publish one more post on the 31st to round out my year, and then will take January to focus on rest and recuperation.

Anyway, I hope you all get good rest and enjoy your holidays.

See you all in February.

Names of Jesus: Son of David

“This is the genealogy of Jesus, the Messiah, the son of David, the son of Abraham.”

Matthew 1:1

The name “Son of David” appears in the very first sentence of the book of Matthew. It is immediately followed by a record of Jesus’s ancestors, an official genealogy.

Perhaps it may seem strange to open a religious text with a genealogy (a family tree, essentially), but it is important to remember that the Book of Matthew is not just a religious text - it is also a historical record. Whatever your beliefs regarding the spiritual aspects of this text, Matthew is recording events that happened to people he knew. And, as with most biographers, there was information he felt important to include. Including this genealogy.

So what is so important about this genealogy? Why does Matthew feel the need to stress that Jesus really is a direct descendant of David’s?

What does this name mean?

The name, Son of David, means exactly what it sounds like it means: that Jesus is a son - descendant - of David. It is, however, important to note, Jesus is not just descended from some random David on the street. He is descended from King David, Israel’s greatest and most famous, handpicked by God himself.

Why does this name matter?

So, why does it matter so much that Jesus is a descendant of King David’s?

At the time of Jesus’s birth, Israel was no longer an independent monarchy. In fact, it hadn’t been for nearly 600 years, with Judah, the southern kingdom of Israel, falling to Babylon around 580-590BC. From that point on, Judah never truly regained her status as a self-ruling state. Zedekiah, who died in Babylon, was the last of King David’s descendants to actually be king. This was, even by 1st century AD standards, ancient history.

Which, again, brings us to the question: why is it so important that Jesus is descended from King David?

As with last week, and the name Immanuel, this name is linked with prophecy. Many, many prophecies - that is to say, messages and promises from God. There are two in particular I want to bring to your attention.

“The Lord declares to you that the Lord himself will establish a house for you: when your days are over and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, your own flesh and blood, and I will establish his kingdom. He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.”

2 Samuel 7: 11-13

This promise was given to David through a prophet (messenger of God) named Nathan. This is part of a longer message, all of which you can read in the seventh chapter of the second book of Samuel. At the time, David thought this promise referred to his son Solomon. But Solomon died, and his son Rehoboam managed to lose five-sixths of the kingdom in an uprising. So, you know, not so forever.

This, however, meant that this promise had yet to be fulfilled. In stressing that Jesus is the Son of David, that he belongs to Israel’s ancient, and longest lasting, royal family, Matthew is saying that Jesus is the promised son. He is the offspring whose Kingdom will exist forever.

“A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him -
the Spirit of Wisdom and understanding,
the Spirit of Counsel and of might,
the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord -
and he will delight in the fear of the Lord.

Isaiah 11:1-3

This is part of a much longer promise communicated to the Israelites through Isaiah, who you may remember from last week’s post about the name Immanuel. It may seem odd to reference this in a post about the name Son of David given that the phrase itself does not appear. However, Jesse was David’s father, and the genealogy Matthew gives us shows that Jesus was descended from Jesse as well as David. Because, well, that’s how it works.

By calling Jesus “Son of David”, Matthew links him not just to the historical King David and the prophecies regarding his son, but also to this prophecy.

Here, “a shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse” and he will preside over the world as judge. Thanks to his justice, righteousness and faithfulness, the world will know peace and harmony like never before, with wolves, lambs, lions, leopards, goats, calves, cobras and children all living together without harming one another.

As we know, however, this is not the case in the world right now. Matthew knew this as well, he wrote this book after Jesus had left the world. So, in calling him Son of David, in linking him to these prophecies, Matthew was not just saying “this is who Jesus is”, he was saying “and these are the thing he will bring about.”

So, in summary, why does the name “Son of David” matter?

It matters because it links Jesus directly to Israel’s great King David.

It matters because it makes clear that Jesus is the “offspring”, “the son”, the “shoot” of this family that was promised.

And it matters because it is a promise of things still to come: Jesus, presiding over the world as the righteous judge, resulting in a peace we have never known since the Garden of Eden.

Other posts in this series

Part 1: Immanuel

https://www.claphamcorner.com/blog/2019/12/4/the-names-of-jesus-immanuel

Names of Jesus: Immanuel

It’s December! And that means Christmas, which means Advent. Perhaps not all of my readers are Christians, but I am. Which means that for me, Christmas is not just a nice holiday, but an important religious and spiritual celebration. Christmas is the time of year wherein we specifically focus on celebrating the birth of Jesus. Because of that, I have decided to publish a special, four part Advent series each Wednesday this December. This year, I will be exploring his four names as found in Matthew chapter 1.

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The Virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel.”

Matthew 1:22

Those of you who are familiar with Matthew chapter 1 will know that “Immanuel” is the last name that comes up for Jesus. So why am I starting with it?

Well, of the four names Jesus is called throughout this chapter, this one is unique. This name is unique because it was spoken in reference to Jesus several hundred years before he was actually born. It was spoken as part of a prophecy by a man named Isaiah, during the time when Ahaz, son of Jotham, was king of Judah. In fact, we have a record of what was happening when this prophecy was given. We find it in Isaiah chapter 7.

Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel.

Isaiah 7:14

So… what does this name mean and why does it matter?

What does “Immanuel” mean?

Every name has a meaning. My name, for instance, means “victorious”. Immanuel is no exception.

Literally, Immanuel means “God with us”. As I reflected on this name earlier, I was intrigued by the fact that it is not “God is with us”. A small grammatical difference, but it makes a big difference.

In essence, the man Jesus is not “God is with us” but he is “God with us”.

Why does the name “Immanuel” matter?

For the significance of this name, I decided to dig into the context in which is first appeared. That is to say, I decided to read what the historical record (the book of Isaiah) had to say was going on when the prophecy this name was part of was given.

I would highly recommend you go and read this document for yourself, it is very readily available. If you don’t want to read all 66 chapters of it, though, chapter 7 is where you want to go.

In summary though, Ahaz is the king of Judah, based in the capital city of Jerusalem. Meanwhile over to the northeast in Aram (part of what is now Syria) a guy by the name of Rezin is king. He decides he wants to team up with Pekah. Pekah is son of Remaliah. Remaliah is the king of Israel, Judah’s neighbours to the north.

So, you have Pekah and Rezin working together. And what are they doing? They are marching south and attacking Jerusalem, which has everybody more than a little bit terrified. In fact, they “were shaken, as the trees of the forest are shaken by the wind” (Isaiah 7:2).

Enter Isaiah. Now, Isaiah has a special relationship with God. Namely, he is God’s personal messenger. And he’s here because God has a message for Ahaz. This message basically boils down to “don’t worry about Pekah and Rezin, I’ll deal with them”.

In the middle of the message, God stops and is like “hey, hey, ask me for a sign.”

To which Ahaz replies “No, I don’t want to test you.”

Which has God all “seriously? I just told you to ask. You know what, Imma give you a sign anyway. A virgin will get pregnant and give birth to boy. He’s gonna be known as Immanuel. That means “God with us”, btw. And before he is born, these guys will have been dealt with.”

Or, in other words, Judah was in a desperate situation, and God was like “hey, don’t worry. One day I’m going to do this incredible, impossible thing and there’s going to be a baby, born to a literal virgin, and he is going to be God with you.”

So, in summary, why does matter the name Immanuel matter?

Because it is the promise, the proof and the reminder that God is with us. He had not abandoned Judah to their enemies, nor has he abandoned us.

The name Immanuel is the sign, the proof, of God’s power that he is able to make a virgin pregnant, and for that to result in a son - Jesus.

The name Immanuel is the sign, the proof of God’s goodness. He himself is with us, he himself was born as a baby. And Jesus was that baby.

The name Immanuel is the sign, the proof, of God’s faithfulness. Because Jesus may have been born to a virgin several hundred years after God said he was going to do this, but he was born. God followed through on his word. And that means we can trust him.

Other posts in this series

Part 2: Son of David

www.claphamcorner.com/blog/2019/12/11/names-of-jesus-son-of-david

From the Archives: The Importance of Self Care

Another week of PEM and flaring CFS meant I was not able to write a new post. So I have, once again, reached back into the archives of my old blog and pulled out this post to share with you. Hopefully I’ll be well enough to resume my normal publishing schedule soon. Sadly, the unpredictability of my condition means I can’t make any promises. See you on Friday, I hope.

I haven't been sure what my next blog post would be on. Hence the longer silence. I've toyed around with a few ideas and have a few things in the works. Really though, I just need to be able to sit down and work out a plan for how I'm going to manage the blog so that I can be writing and posting regularly without overloading myself. But, that's for another time.

Right now, though, I wanted to talk about something that had been on my mind a lot. Something that I think Christians can be particularly bad at. And what is that? Self care.

I mean, there are fairly obvious reasons why this has been on my mind. My entire life is currently a process of figuring out how I can effectively look after myself, so that just living is not an exhausting endeavour. And, as a Christian raised to believe that if I'm not serving, if I'm not being active for God one way or another, then something is wrong. I have chaffed against my body; bawled my eyes out over having to pull out of a commitment last minute; and collapsed in bed after leaving a wedding early, heart aching over my physical weakness and mental exhaustion.

And it's odd. The more aware of it I'm forced to be in my own life, the more aware of it I am in the things other people say.

"Oh, I don't want to take time off, it doesn't show a good work ethic." But you're sick?

"I'm so tired and so stressed but I can't pull out of anything. It's all good stuff, God stuff." Sure, but so is rest. Like, it was one of the ten commandments. Heck, God rested Himself after creating the world. So, maybe, just maybe, taking the rest you need is also a God thing? Just throwing it out there.

Now, I'm trying to keep this short, so I'll finished with a little letter direct to anyone and everyone reading this who feels tired, is stressed, struggles to live life with chronic illness or in any other way needs to be encouraged today:

You, my dear, are oh so precious. You were carefully, lovingly made by the Creator of all things. He walked this earth and shed His blood so that He might rescue you: that's how precious you are to Him. He loves you. He knows you. He understands you. Trust in Him and rest in the knowledge that He had got this.

And, dear one, so feels exhausted and weak, here's something I'm learning: as long as we remain faithfully putting one foot  front of the other, trusting in God for your daily bread, you are serving Him. You are serving others. You are showing that He is trustworthy. You are encouraging others to trust in Him.

And to finish, I'll share this wonderfully encouraging thing a friend shared with me yesterday: God created our bodies, our minds, our emotions, our souls. As with all the rest of Creation, they are not our own to do with as we please. They are God's and we are merely stewards. Therefore, it is our job to look after them, to tend to them they need tending to. To give ourselves both the work and the rest they require. There is no shame in being ill or exhausted or stressed. There is no shame of taking care of ourselves. To do so is to take part the job God had given to all of humanity: the care for His Creation.

What's in a Name - Clapham Corner

It’s been two months since my website went live, so now’s a good time to talk about the name, right?

I’m sure people have some questions - I’ve definitely already been asked a couple of times!

Now, history savvy readers may already have made the link to William Wilberforce and the Clapham Circle. If you have - well done. Give yourself a pat on the back. If you haven’t, that’s fine, I wouldn’t have expected you too.

Anyway, William Wilberforce has long been a personal hero of mine, ever since I watched Amazing Grace back in 2008. If you ever asked me who I’d want to invite for dinner, my answer was probably William Wilberforce.

I admire Wilberforce for many reasons. I primarily admire him for being a man who didn’t let the social and economic norms of his culture blind him to the atrocities that were occurring. This applies to his fight against slavery, but also his fight for better public education, his fight against cruelty to animals and the many, many other causes he dedicated his life to.

I also admire Wilberforce for the way he refused to separate his Christian faith from his job as a politician, instead letting his faith inform his policies and actions. I admire his persistence in fighting for abolition, despite the many setbacks he and his friends faced. I admire the way he didn’t allow his chronic ill health to define him or prevent him from doing the work he loved and felt called to do.

As I said: he is a personal hero of mine.

Unfortunately, for many people, the older they get and the more they find out about their heroes, the more disillusioned they become. So far, that has not been the case for me with Wilberforce.

Last year, I read Eric Metaxas’ Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery. As well as growing in me a deeper appreciation of Wilberforce and his accomplishments, this book properly introduced me to the Clapham Circle (also known as the Clapham Sect).

These were a number of WIlberforce’s close friends and contemporaries who, along with Wilberforce and his family, bought land and established homes together in Clapham. Together, they and their homes became a centre for hospitality, Christian thinking and the home base for many of the time’s most prominent and influential social justice movements.

Which brings me to why I named my website and blog Clapham Corner.

As I was thinking about my long term hopes and dreams for my life and this blog, I realised I also wanted my home (both physically and virtually) to be a place of hospitality, Christian thinking and a space for matters of social justice to be discussed and acted on. Because of this, and my long lasting admiration for Wilberforce, I decided I wanted the name of my blog to reflect this by being a less than subtle nod to his home and circle of friends.

After brainstorming a few ideas and figuring out what domains were available (because practical matters are just as important) I settled on the name you see today: Clapham Corner.

So, welcome to Clapham Corner. Come in, settle down and grab yourself a cup of something hot. Or cold, if it’s summer where you are. Let’s go on this journey together.